For Immediate Release

SUSAN CLARKE QUITS YOGA CLASS AFTER SEEING TEACHER IN BAD SHORT FILM ON YOUTUBE

JANUARY 31, 2008, LOS ANGELES, Calif. Susan Clarke has announced that she is yet again on the hunt for a good yoga teacher after unwittingly discovering that her most recent instructor is actually an aspiring actor. His real identity was a shock to Clarke who thought that his white turban, beard, and Hammer-like gauzy pants signaled an authentic yogini, the type who study for years in India and devote their lives to a path of enlightenment. The red carpet seems a more likely goal, Clarke concluded, after stumbling across the half-asana in one of thousands of dismal “Office” parodies clogging up YouTube. The faux-gini was clad in Dockers and a tie and was limply “sending up” cubicle life with such weak results that Clarke felt the need to take Child’s Pose for a good 10 minutes in order to regain her balance.

“I’m okay with the fact that actors serve my food and patrol my beaches for sharks,” Clarke offers. But when it comes to her psycho-spiritual growth, she demands “a dedicated expert who doesn’t have to split early to read for a walk-on role on According to Jim. “I don’t trust a part-timer with a headshot to helm my quest for profundity.” She confesses that she might not have come to the same conclusion if the short film had been any good, “But it sucked. It was completely unfunny and unoriginal.”

Fortunately, Clarke had only taken four classes with the fraudulent raja, suffering minimal disruption of her karma.

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