Susan Clarke Forgets To Bring Plastic Bag

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SUSAN CLARKE FORGETS TO BRING THAT PLASTIC BAG NEAR THE DOOR
TO GOODWILL

TASK HAS GONE UNDONE FOR THREE WEEKS

Los Angeles, Calif. Despite its location next to the front door of her apartment where it should be impossible to miss, Susan Clarke has forgotten to pick up a bag of donations for Goodwill three weekends now. “Weekends are the only time I can get there when they’re open. And now I fucking forgot this weekend, this fucking thing has to sit here for another five days.” The double-thickness white plastic Trader Joe’s bag contains several long sleeve t-shirts that don’t fit right and a red t-shirt that got stained with butter when Clarke went to see Brokeback Mountain earlier in the week. The unreceived donation also includes two threadbare towels and a small number of literary magazines from the early 1990s. This is not the first time this Goodwill bag scenario has arisen for Clarke.

Weekend after weekend the Goodwill donation bag remains right by the front door and is continually overlooked – consciously or unconsciously- for any of the following reasons: a) legitimately did not see it. B) saw it but was doing errands on foot and wasn’t planning on going that far. C) Saw it but totally didn’t feel like doing that errand now because was stoned and on way to store for ice cream. D) Blew it off.

The bag is interfering with the advancing and retreating pile of footwear that normally resides by the door, with full command of the area. The Jack Purcells and Van’s, which usually have the freedom to rest side by side, have had to piggyback to accommodate the compromised square footage. As Sunday night counted down to the beginning of new week, Clarke vowed to get that bag out from underfoot this week for certain. “I’m doing it Saturday morning, first thing,” she said crossing her heart. “There’s your story pal.”

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